Don't Stop Believin'

  It occurs to me how I do a lot of looking back.  I don't know if this is a thing that comes with age or maybe it's just some will win, some will lose, some were born to sing the blues.  You look back and see either the best or the worst of what memory has to offer.  I imagine my first date with my future wife and I just remember a small town girl living in a lonely world.  But in all actuality it was a cheap bar that had a singer in a smokey room.  There was a smell of wine and cheap perfume, but all we needed was that one smile to last the whole night.  

  Then again you remember the not so good parts of your life and the memories come back with dark images making you want to take a midnight train going anywhere.  I am not sure why I look back so much but it does remind me that even though the events of the present seem so big and important they will soon be in the past and a memory.  It's like all of these times are strangers who are waiting,  they are standing around up and down the boulevard... not sure where they play in the grand scheme of things but they give us something to learn and a place to be in the present.  

  We don't know what the future holds but our past informs us that the good and the bad wash over us and keep us growing.  Living is hard and we search for the emotion that can carry us to a place of understanding.  So I guess what I take from looking back is this, don't stop believing that the future will hold good times.  Hold on to the feeling you remember from when you felt that thrill of joy and simply hold on through the bad times.  Our past doesn't decide our future but it can help us to hold onto hope even in the face of long shadows.